The Pope – what might happen

The pope is coming to visit Pommyland. Oh what joy it will be to see everyone get excited.
All the folks who don’t like him and the RCC will be lined up to either confront, try and arrest him, mock and protest. All his supporters will mutter darkly and leap to his defence and ask for respect and tolerance. They will carry on with points of theology, cultish behavior, medieval practices, arcane incantations.
So exciting to see what he will have to say. The usual condoms are bad, no abortions, no women, no pooftas, no priests allowed to have sex with anybody, sin sin and more sin, straying from the path of righteousness, the need to return to know jesus and through him know god’s love, blah blah, blah? Or maybe something new and thrilling?
I found it embarrassing that all religions want me to enter into an imaginary gay relationship with a dead bloke from the middle east and if I do that I can have another imaginary gay relationship with the bloke that made the universe. Who is the same entity but not really. So confusing and silly really. Well it is a bit gay isn’t it? You must love him beyond all else. etc etc etc.
So wearisome that this nonsense still goes on. Is it just the fear of death that makes people sign up to this stuff? It’s on a par with “if you are not good santa won’t come”.
I thought about ordering one of those papal souvenirs. The customisable church specific mug. I thought it could get”St Buggery” and “Everywhere” printed on it. But the minimum order is 10 and they are 10 quid each and the money goes to support the old blokes trip.
Maybe someone will get to give the pope a pie in the face. Well, he can take a joke can’t he?
Strange how he is going to Pommyland and not hopping over to Ireland. Well there has been “the recent unpleasantness” to consider. All those years of priests behaving badly…Maybe a little to hot in kitchen eh?
It will also be hilarious to see how the other religions in Pommyland go on. The big eyebrowed archbishop Canterbury will have some cheesy sheep like statement. The muslims will have some radical sharia based hysteria whipped up. Lashing themselves into a frenzy and looking for a way to further their own agenda. Talk of interfaith dialogue, pushing back the forces of secularism, the need for respect and renewal….yawn.
Any way its going to be fun to see what happens. Great stuff. Come on pope, give us a good one mate.

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